Vatsy-Speaks

Sunday, December 28, 2008

God Tussi Great Ho!!

God is so Unkind and Unfair. No He really is. Not that I realised it today but its just that the belief strengthened today.
This post is dedicated to the one and only Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav. Not because I'll be entering Bihar in few hours from now but because of his great service to Indian Railways and the ideas he has implented to increase the revenues of railway and making it a one of the biggest profit making public sector organisation

Before I start this post I would also want to thank Ramdev Baba without him and without Aastha Channel the possibility of writing this post was almost Zilch!
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Right now I'm in a train travelling from Howrah to Patna and to my surprise the coach is brand new.So I happily check my ticket, 26 is my berth no... Immediately the mathematical part of my brain starts calculating, ah Shit! Its a middle berth..
F****** bad luck. I enter the train, what do I see there are 9 berths in each coupe instead of normal 8. The side one also has a middle berth now. And then the very generous Murphy was very kind to me. I had the same F****** side middle berth.
The reason why I thank Ramdev Baba was because if not for him and his yoga positions I would have never been able to write this post from train.The height of this F***** side middle berth is just about enough to keep the lapton on my stomach and open it.The bed to ceiling distance for this berth would be hardly 2ft, just imagine how cramped up this place is. All thanks to Lalu Bhaiya. I dont know where does he get all this F***** brilliantly stupid ideas from.

Anyways let's come to the main story, because as they say when life throws lemons at you, squeeze them , make lemonades and have fun. So even if its 2ft of head space I wanted to and so I will write a post now.

When I was young ( people around me managed to convince me that I've become old, old enough to get married and so I'm engaged now and hence no longer young ) . Ah! lost track. Let me start again. When I was young and a little desperate the first thing I used to do before boarding a train was to check the passenger's list of my coach and at the same time pray to God, God! My Lord! This time, for once .. just for once please put at least one Girl of my age in my coupe.
But as I said God is so unfair and unkind, in last 7 years I swear to God never did he answer my prayers.
So when I lost my young-ness (does that word even exist!) and desperateness that is after I got engaged I prayed to God again. Oh God! My lord,please put some good guys in my coupe, who play cards and a fun company so that I do not get bored.

As I said He is so unkind and unfair, He for some reason, (I'm sure to tease me ) put a good looking girl in the berth above mine. I looked up ( in the sky) and asked why!!! for what F****** reason you making fun of me Why now?
Anyways, I decided I will not talk to that girl first. I don't need to. If she talks then it is fine but I will not make the first move. I dont need to (I know what you are thinking. yes I'm a stupid narrow minded A****** ). 16 hrs passed and I didn't speak a word to her. Though out of those 16 hrs , she was sitting facing me for 8 hrs. Anyways after doing all the timepass I decided to strike a conversation with her. We started talking and we talked for about 15 mins or so, Came to know she is an engineer working in a bangalore based MNC and 2 years junior to me. After 15 mins for some reason I told her that I've to meet my fiance in Kolkata. And that was the last sentence in our conversation. Trust me we stopped talking then and there only. I felt like some kind of untouchable. No its not that I wanted to talk to her, but I felt I was not treated as a normal human being. Anyways I thought these are all Pyar ke side effects and it happens with everyone.
But that was not enough. After some 4-5 hrs she talked to me again. And guess what she said.
"Bhaiya yeh charger laga denge" . I said yeah sure and told myself, you know what , it still hurts when some pretty girl calls you bhaiya.

By the way my miseries didnt stop here. I boarded the train from howrah to Patna. And guess , what is the situation now.
Two very beautiful girls in my coupe and two each in coupe adjoining to my coupe.

God Tussi great Ho!!